Dear Richard Madeley: My wealthy partner wants me to sign away any claim to his estate when he dies

In return he’s offered to pay off my remaining mortgage of £65,000 – which is tempting, but I’m still hurt by this

I am in my mid-60s and have been living with my partner (who is in his early 70s) for nearly 10 years. We both have children from our previous marriages.
He is, as he puts it, a ‘multimillionaire’, while I have suffered setbacks with property investments and my financial situation is less certain. However, I have always prided myself in ‘paying my way’ and not relying on partners financially. For his part, his main concern is his children. 
Recently my partner suggested that he pay off my remaining mortgage (about £65,000) on the condition that I sign a waiver confirming I will not be claiming anything from his estate when he dies. 
I am hurt and annoyed by this: I have never sought money from him in the 10 years we have been living together, and I didn’t anticipate getting anything much from his estate. It seems to me his offer to pay my mortgage is a slightly tricksy way of making sure I’m out of the picture when the time comes. Nevertheless, it’s a tempting offer in purely practical terms. Should I take it?
— Amanda, via email
On the financial implications of agreeing to or rejecting this proposal, you need expert advice from a lawyer or financial advisor – so book yourself in. Don’t tell your partner, just do it. 
I have to say that I find this an odd proposal for a partner of 10 years to make, especially as there has been no prior discussion of any kind. You didn’t ask him to pay off your mortgage; he just presented it out of the blue. I’m not surprised you’re taken aback.
It’s also predicated, to be blunt, on the assumption that he’ll die first. He may not. What would happen to your assets if you were to predecease him? Have you made a will? Has he?
OK, here’s my plan of action for you. First, go see a professional. You need to be armed with the facts. Then sit down with your partner. Tell him that his ­proposal has made you think seriously about what might happen when one of you dies. Say that you need a wider ­conversation about this than his simple, ‘If I pay off your mortgage, you’ll get nothing when I’m gone’ gambit.
Try to distinguish between the emotional and practical sides of this, but do make sure he knows how you feel. You respect his need to prioritise his ­children, but you never thought of your relationship in transactional terms and yet now it seems he does. 
Don’t push for an immediate agreement. You both need time to think things through. Which is why his simplistic proposition is a complete non-starter. Good luck. 
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